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Orion Prelude Review – Everybody Do The Dinosaur~

by on May 20, 2015
Details
 
Synopsis

Can your survive the horde of dinosaurs? Or would you REALLY want to spend that 1 dolalr on Burger King? Because dude, gross.

# of Players

Suggested 4+

Positives

- Cheaper than bad fast food.
- Relatively fun team play
- Good options menus
- Good controls

Negatives

- Very ugly looking
- Poorly optimized
- Sound effects are garbage
- A bit buggy (still...)
- Poor mans Unreal Tournament 2004

Editor Rating
 
Gameplay
B-

 
Graphics
C-

 
Sound Effects and Music
C

 
Story
C

Writer's Score
C+


Bottom Line
 

Honestly, it only costs you a dollar or less during sales. At best it's a few hours of dumb entertainment and at worst you can bomb a friends steam inbox with 10 of them during a sale for the lulz (You know, like sending a friend 20 copies of bad rats...).

 

I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I will get crucified on a professional level for praising a game that was originally despised as much as Hitler himself, but I have to give the game it’s due; it’s pretty fun for a while. Not that I didn’t try looking for problems with the game mind you, the game has those in spades. With that being said however, it still manages to be entertaining for a few hours despite those drawbacks.

"Hey now, I'm still more popular than Daikatana"

“Hey now, I’m still more popular than Daikatana”

Firstly, the entire game looks like a unreal tournament 2004 mod. Most of the textures are early xbox 360 levels of detail, the model work is both clunky and ugly to look at and things seem to clip though solid objects often (especially dinosaurs). Also, the game still has optimization issues to this day, consistently dropping frames on a 660 TI on high and even causing some stutter issues on a friends 980. However, dropping the game down to medium settings seems to help with the frame issues, but you shouldn’t have to, as the textures on high are 360 quality anyhow. The game does have neat water and sunshaft effects though.

The Dino models are on par with this guy at least.

The Dino models are on par with this guy at least.

The game options menu is very good. You have standard sound sliders, resolution and aspect ratio options, texture and lighting quality and even a FOV slider with numbers for those that get motion sick. Both the game controller and keyboard keys are entirely rebindable, which should be industry standard by now (shocker, it’s not). The only real problem I have with the game menus is no colorblind option and the only AA it has is FXAA, which really doesn’t detract from the game since it looks like 2006 barfed up on the textures/models anyhow.

Even my cat was mesmerized by all the options. A butterfly at my window didn't even distract him.

Even my cat was mesmerized by all the options. A butterfly at my window didn’t even distract him.

Sound quality is well…passable at best. The guns have no real meat to them when firing and the dinosaurs sound run the gauntlet from not remotely terrifying to amusingly bad. The placeholder eagle screech over the Pterosaurs for example is downright laughable. Also some creatures lack sound altogether, that giant croc may as well be solid snake for as much sound as he makes when approaching you. (Also, the asshole biologist in me needs to point out that crocs are NOT dinosaurs, nor are Pterosaurs. Really wish folks would get that right already.)

Pictured above, NOT a Dinosaur.

Pictured above, NOT a Dinosaur.

Also not  dinosaur, Also thier vocal system would make the pitch in their screech much higher than an eagle. So roughly on par with Justin Beibers singing.

Also not dinosaur, Also their vocal system would make the pitch in their screech much higher than an eagle. So, roughly on par with Justin Beibers singing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The sound track itself is hit or miss as well. Doesn’t hurt the game, but it’s one of those personal preference things. Your milage may vary if you decide to mute the music. I suggest maybe putting on some Rock or Metal on in the room since it seems to fit the pace of the game well.

Or some old Blue eyes if you want to confuse the crap out of your roomates.

Or some old blue eyes if you want to confuse the crap out of your roommates.

Lastly, the gameplay. So you have a game thats fairly ugly, sounds meh, poorly optimized, but has good options and acceptable controls. Surely this game must be terrible to play and that is where you would be wrong. Despite all the games harsh drawbacks, it still manages to be an amusing game. The amount of game modes is kinda on the meh side and the larger dinos are an easy target, but everything else from the death matching to team wave play is a blast. At the worst it’s a few hours of fun before you uninstall it and never touch it again.

Kinda Like Cod 3, but you know, with less of the 40 shades of brown and more dying to a T-Rex.

Kinda Like Cod 3, but you know, with less of the 40 shades of brown and more dying to a T-Rex.

Did I also mention it’s cheaper than a Whopper Jr? This game goes on sale for a low as 50 cents sometimes and even now on steam it’s all of a buck. If you ask me a dollar is worth 5 hours of entertainment the game provides, easily. There is however a micro transaction system in game, but it all seems really cosmetic (IE you can’t buy power) so it’s not really bothersome.

Hmmm look how healthy that looks, right up there with eating raw possum right? Delicious.

Hmmm look how healthy that looks, right up there with eating raw possum right? Delicious.

So should you buy Orion Prelude? Well, that depends. Is a single american dollar worth 3-6 hours of entertainment for you or do you REALLY want to eat something from BK(I suggest you don’t because eww gross)? If the answer is yes, then at worst you get some trading cards and entertainment. If no, then I guess you REALLY must like processed half- soy beef right? (BTW I’m presenting you with a false dichotomy here, it’s satirical in nature and in no way represents your eating habits, at least I hope you don’t eat too much fast food. Especially shitking, ick).

A much better unhealthy eating option than BK.

A much better unhealthy eating option than BK.

I tentatively endorse and suggest you pick up Orion Prelude. It may be a ugly, semi buggy mess of a game, but it’s a fun mess of a game that costs you less than a bag of chips. I mean honestly, the game can only get better from here right? Or would you rather play Daikatana?

Kill it! Kill it with fire and abort its mother from time!

Kill it! Kill it with fire and abort its mother from time!

On a side note: The developer has been known to take criticism of their game very harshly, including steam forum bans and even a few false DMCA claims, dev is kinda shit, but the game’s better than it used to be at least. Also they changed the game name like, 3 times a well. Steam review dodging like a pro.

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